Have you ever imagined having the power of flight to get to work? What about teleporting away from a bad date? In this week’s episode of Ranked: Top 5 Lists of Stuff That Don’t Matter, (Captain) Tuong La rounds up his very own rag-tag Justice League and puts a TWIST on the classic “What’s the best super power?” argument, nerding out instead about practical super powers that would be useful in everyday life. Big thanks to super-powered special guests Angus MacDonald, Stephen Peeling, and Rich Hilborn for lending their geeky-ness for this action packed episode.

See you in two weeks!

PS: I came up with at least 5 more superpowers probably more useful than the list we came up in this episode so as a reminder –  these lists don’t matter!

PPS: If you are outraged by our lists, think you can come up with better list ideas, or simply want to make your own podcast email – ranked@podcavern.com ! We’d love to hear from you!



**Spoilers**As always these are our personal lists for the best practical superpowers for everyday life!

Tuong’s List


1) Controlling traffic so it’s always in your favor

2) Dishes that are washed and put away as soon as your done with them

3) Super oven/stove that never needs to be supervised and ALWAYS gets results

4) Can instantly fall asleep and wake up set by an internal clock

5) Horizontal Airport Escalator Legs

6) Turning waste (human or garbage) back into food

7) Access the internet with your mind

8) Opposable thumbs for your feet

9) Spidey Sense

10) Wordsmith

11) Every time you fart it’s like air freshener

Angus’s List

1) Time Manipulation

2) Transformation (mild mistque)

3) Extreme Spatial Awareness

4) Lost Item Detection

5) Mild Body Temperature Control



Rich’s List

1) Teleport Home

2) Telekinesis

3) Power Electronics

4) Spidey Sense

5) Hammer Space (Unlimited Pockets)

6) Technopathy



Steve’s List

1) Telekinesis (mild)

2)Super Speed (mild)

3) Flight

4) Time Control (mild)

5) Healing Factor

6) Reality Control

7) Language/ Knowledge Learning

8) Shapeshift

It’s THREE Ranked episodes in ONE!

In today’s improv-centric episode, we put 15 improv groups on the spot from the Ottawa Improv Festival 2017 to weigh in on three questions that only improvisors can answer! Join myself (Tuong La) and special guests Angus MacDonald and Leslie Cserepy while we make a Top 5 and RANK other people’s answers!

  1. Top 5 Ways to Conquer the World and Become Supreme Ruler
  2. Top 5 Ways to Fight Against 500 5 Year Olds
  3. Top 5 Ways to Ask Sasquatch to go to the Prom with You

We’ll be back in two weeks!




There is a lot of people to thank for participating in this episode so without further ado…

Al Connors – Crush Improv

Chris Hannay – Improv Embassy

Sandi Armstrong and Heidi Lynn Weekes – Grinders

Stefan Spec – Mess Hall

Zac Duval -Mi6

Leigh Cameron and Kirsten Rasmussen – Bloody Mary’s

Chelsea Fahey – Dangerstorm

Ahmed Elchamma – Yellow Snow Pants

Kristine Shadid and Alli Harris –  Rhythm and Burgundy

Mike Brunlieb and Thomas Kelly – Sand

Ross Zimmerman – Carleton Improv Association

Simon Ha – Breakfast 4 Dinner

Marc Rowland – Easy Action

Angus Wright – Embassy Q

Nelu Handa – Kweendom

…..and the Improv Embassy for putting this festival all together!

*SPOILERS* Here are our personal  lists for..

Best Ways to Conquer the World and Become Supreme Ruler

Tuong’s List

5.Control the water supply by putting mind control hormones in the system

4.Through song and dance

3.Buy ad space on all the bill boards on the planet with my face on it

2.Challenge every world leader in a game of Mario Kart – winner take all

1.Consult Pinky and the Brain

Angus’s List

3.Start a Cult

2.Run for Office

1.Pavlovian Behavior Training

Leslie’s List

3.Weaponize Coca Cola

2.Tell lies constantly, be a creep, and dye myself orange

1.Buy everyone in the world a box of (Taco Bell) tacos


Best Ways to Fight Against 500 5 Year Olds

Tuong’s List

5.Poison nipples with more poisonous breast milk

4.like a really big flame thrower

3.Indiana Jones like boulder

2.Giant projector of Teletubbies that when they walk towards it they fall off a cliff

1.Army of Mothers who give a good spankin’

Angus’s List

3.Find a good choke point

2.Mind Games

1.Lie to them and tell them I have cooties

Leslie’s List

3.Robot Rocket Boxing Gloves

2.Lure to bouncy house and then grenade

1. Get a manifest of all childrens’ names and use their full name in the mom voice to stop them in their tracks

Best Ways to Convince Sasquatch to go to the Prom with You

Tuong’s List

5.Dress like Chewbacca and hope for the best

4.Make Sasquatch jealous by spreading rumors you were going to take Loch Ness and put him in a spot where he’d try to win you back from pure jealousy

3.Do pushups in front of him to show your dominance

2.Promise you won’t tell the government where he lives

1. Offer him the entire gymnasium of classmates as a meal

Angus’s List

3.Don’t shave

2.Write a poem

1.Big Romantic Gesture

Leslie’s List

3.Go as friends but if he doesn’t want to go then tell him Abominable Snow Woman will be there

2.Promise there will be a photobooth so he can finally have a non-blurry picture of himself

1.Grow Pubic Hair and then show off the goods



Hope you’re hungry!

Hey it’s the second episode of Ranked and we decided to give YOU (yes YOU!) the listener some free food advice so you can be the most popular person at your next potluck. Join myself and special guests Josef Addleman, Laura Gordon, and Leslie Cserepy while we come up with a mouth-watering appetizing list and rank the very best of potluck food.

Enjoy the episode and we’ll be back in two weeks for a new topic to rank!



These are our own (unordered) individual lists for what to bring to a potluck. But hey we talk about that on the podcast itself so why not give that a listen first okay? Cool. Thnx. Luv u.

Tuong’s Potluck List

  1. Dumplings
  2. Smoked Salmon
  3. Kabobs
  4. A Fun Cheese Dip
  5. Punch?
  6. Candy
  7. Vodka Watermelon
  8. Mother Fuckin’ Pizza
  9. Bacon Wrapped Scallops

Jo’s Potluck List

  1. Greek Salad
  2. Some sort of curried Rice and vegetables dish
  3. Belgian Waffle Station
  4. Spicy Thai/Korean Chicken Wings
  5. Pancakes
  6. Some Twizzlers

Laura’s Potluck List

  1. Guacomole
  2. Antojitos
  3. Deviled Eggs
  4. Meatballs
  5. Brownies

Leslie’s Potluck List

  1. Box of Tacos
  2. Chips and (Jarred) Salsa
  3. Rum & Coke
  4. Nibs
  5. Lasagna
  6. Charcuterie Board


We made our very first episode!

In our very first addition of Ranked, we bring you our favorite movies (and more) of 2016 just in time for the Oscar season. It’s been awhile since I last podcasted (3 years to be exact) so I would very much like to thank Joel Empey, Kyle Jones, and Leslie Cserepy for joining me for the very first episode on my new podcast adventure.

Thanks for listening and be sure to check back every second Thursday for a brand new topic that we are gonna pointlessly rank, order, and argue about.


PS: If you have a Top 5 List idea, want to be on the show, or want to create your own podcast for PodCavern email ranked@podcavern.com.

Individual Top 5 Movie Lists of 2016

Hey this basically spoils the podcast…so just fair warning



Okay you either didn’t read what I wrote above or you don’t care. Here you go you

selfish animal.


Kyle’s Top 5 of 2016

5) Manchester by the Sea

4) Hacksaw Ridge

3) The Nice Guys

2) 10 Cloverfield Land

1)Hell or High Water

Joel’s Top 5 of 2016

5) Popstar: Never stop Never Stopping

My favourite comedy in the last 3 years + A new Lonely Island album is weaved into the movie… Why did no one see this movie?!

4) La La Land

My all-time favourite romantic musical & one of my all-time favourite movie endings.

3) Hunt for the Wilderpeople

An instant cult-classic. A whimsical (or majestical) journey of mentorship that’s fun for all ages.

2) Sing Street

Relatable. Inspiring. Spectacular. A punk-rock coming of age story that immediately affirmed its position as one of my all-time favourite movies.

1)Lion, Arrival

1) OJ Made in America

A brilliantly comp rehensive look at “The trial of the century”.

Leslie’s Top 5 of 2016

5) Patriots day

The first socks according to history books were recorded in 8th century BC By the Ancient Greek people, and were made from matted animal hair in order to keep the feet warm. Cut to 2017, where socks are having a renaissance of sorts, with several boutique sock companies make their living by providing hip, intricate, brightly coloured foot sleeves to masses of barefooted consumers. But today, I’m abandoning the sheek, complex patterns of contemporary socks and going back to a simple primary colour, RED. With my newly adorned Red Socks and Marky Mark by side, I’m gonna park the car in Harvard yard with my number 5 pick, PATRIOTS DAY

4) La La Land

Rocks and Birds. Two of the foundations of human civilization. For it were not for rocks, where would humans wary tools come from? Serving as the cornerstone to many modern day conveniences. And if it were not for birds, what would serve as the inspiration for human flight? It is these winged, beaked creatures that served as the muse for airplanes, which transport people all across the globe, connecting us all together as one giant village. But with my number 4 2016 favourite movie pick, I’d like to consider two other types of Rock and Birds: Stone and Gosling. Some uneducated viewers might quickly glance at the title of this movie and think it’s some sort of amusement park, and while I can’t verify that, I can certainly say that this movie is a roller coaster of emotions. One ticket please, to La La Land.

3) Moana

Metamorphosis is the biological process by which an animal physically develops after birth or hatching. Perhaps most well known for this process is the common butterfly. Starting as an egg, morphing into a caterpillar, and then after spending 10-14 days in a self made chrysalis or pupa, it unleashes its final form upon the world as a butterfly for all the world to see. However, humans can under go transformation too. Take for instance the journey of a boy raised between New Zealand and the u.s. states of Hawaii and Pennsylvania, who grew up to be a a college football player in Miami. After a brief stint as a player for the Calgary Stampeders, this boy, now a man, transitioned into the professional wrestling part of his career. As a major staple in the WWE’s Attitude Era from 1996-2004, this man used that to springboard into his final form, a mega superstar Hollywood actor. For my number 3 pick of 2016 favourite movie, make way, make way, because after you see this on my recommendation, what can I say except, you’re welcome. Consider the coconut. Consider: Moana.

2) Sing Street

The year is 1886. Paul Schlicht of New York launches what he describes as a “first class family magazine” with a section devoted exclusively to the concerns of women including articles on fashions, household decoration, cooking, and other similar topics. With a circulation of 25000 that year, a new breed of literature was released on the world and its moniker was “The Cosmopolitan”. Fast forward to now, with over 3 million subscribers and published in 35 different languages, “cosmo” as it is affectionately referred to as, is much more sexually explicit in tone than in its early days, often with lists on “how to please your man” or “keep things exciting in the bedroom”. But with my number 2 pick of 2016 favourite movie, I’m speaking of a different Cosmo entirely. A cosmo that doesn’t need a list on how to please the girl, but how to get the girl on the first place. A cosmo who needs to drive it like he stole it. A cosmo who shouldn’t take a walk down Croon Blvd or Harmonize Avenue, but a cosmo who should take a little stroll down SING STREET.

1) Arrival

The Rosetta Stone was believed to be caved in 196 BC. Weighing approximately 1680 pounds, the black granite stone is covered in writing from three different scripts. Hieroglyphics, Demotic, and Ancient Greek, and carried The Decree of Memphis, a message of honouring the Egyptian pharaoh. It was written so all priests, government officials and rulers in Egypt could read what it said. Using this as inspiration, the Rosetta Stone company, founded in 1992, Launched interactive software to help people learn new languages in an accelerated manner. But with my number 1 movie of 2016, there is no software. There is no fast pass. There is only one woman with a passion for language. When the day comes and the aliens do indeed land in this airport of the universe we call Earth, they aren’t going to be at the gift shop or the Sbarro. They aren’t going be found at luggage claim or departure. But you might have some luck if you look in the section labeled ARRIVAL.



Tuong’s Top 5 of 2016

5) Arrival

What do you get when you put Hawkeye and Lois Lane in a movie with aliens? A really good interesting, emotional, thought provoking movie that keep you guessing right up until when they aliens – – -. Jk not spoiling go see this movie for yourself.

4) Moonlight

Although there is barely a Moon shown in the film, it is still one of the most interesting stories that has come out in 2016. A fantastic character piece about one boy’s inner struggles and how it made him into the man he is today.

3) Rogue One: A Star Wars Story

I’ll say it once I’ll say it a million times, this is the BEST Star Wars Film. Okay maybe like the same level as Empire Strikes back but cmon it was really good. The true Suicide Squad of 2016.

2) La La Land

Honestly what can’t Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone do? Why are they so god damn adorable together? Out of all the movies in 2016 this gave me all the feels. ALL THE FEELS.

1) Hunt for the Wilderpeople

Up until a few weeks ago La La Land was my #1. I was sure of it. Hunt for the Wilderpeople came out of left field and completely blew me away with it’s charm and humor. At the end of the day I watch movies to be entertained and to feel good. This movie did both x 150.