57 – 3rd Annual Top 5 Ways to…(According to Improvisors)

April 10, 2019

Yes and…time for our annual improv episode!

Welcome to the third year of a THREE in ONE Ranked episode where we put 15 improv groups on the spot from the Ottawa Improv Festival 2019 to weigh in on three questions that only improvisors can answer! Join Tuong La and Improv Nerds Angus MacDonald, Leslie Cserepy while we make a Top 5 and RANK other people’s answers! Also once again a certain special friend from “Daredevil” and “Spiderverse” makes a surprise appearance..

The three questions we asked improvisors this episode were:

  1. Top 5 Ways to Become The Next Avenger (Starting at time stamp 10:33)
  2. Top 5 Ways to Escape From Mars (Starting at  (Starting at time stamp 41:56)
  3. Top 5 Ways to Help Sasquatch Become President (Starting at time stamp 1:07:28)

Below are all the ranked lists of all three questions plus honorable mentions from Tuong, Leslie, and Angus. Detailed description of these answers are in the episode itself so give it a listen so you know what the hell we are talking about! Thanks to all our guests who were involved in making this episode!

Top 5 Ways to Become the Next Avenger

5. “Avenge Every Day Life & Peanut Butter” – Mar Khorkhordina (Mi6 Improv)

4. “Skimpy and Screaming” – Kadi Diop – (Colour Outside the Lines)

3. “Angry Super Power and Dr. Slime” – Carley Thorne (Hillary Duff Fan Club), Rhys Naylor (Thirst Trap)

2. “Take What You Have, Avengerize It, and Bribe” – Rich Hilborn (Quest Friends Forever)

1. “Pseudo Science Insert” – Cas Knihnisky, Jason McNutt (The Making-Box Brigade)

Honorable Mentions

Tuong

  • Be besties with Thanos so you can live and be a farmer with him after his finger snap and claim any vacant Avengers spots
  • Pick a fight with Captain America and as soon as he’s about to punch me hold up a portrait of Peggy Carter’s Face so he’s stunned and then punch through the portrait with a sword or something
  • Sleep with all the Avengers to the point where you have dirty on all of them and blackmail your way in

Angus

  • Sell your people sills an be like “hey I’m the party guy so you of course want me around”
  • Bunch of spots just opened up so I’m pretty sure I can just walk in
  • Pretend to be Hawkeye, get his haircut, and kinda be far enough away from them during battles so they believe it’s him. After some time they can get comfortable enough with you that when you reveal that you were never Hawkeye they will accept you anyways.

Leslie

  • Take a taco truck park it outside Avengers Tower, sell tacos for months, and then ask them to be part of the Avengers
  • Become a judge, you choose an Avenger whose the weakest, commit a crime and plant evidence against them, and during the trial you make the plea deal to become the next Avenger
  • Deep Fake a Tony Stark Porno and blackmail your way in

Top 5 Ways to Escape from Mars

5. “Embrace, Stay, Swimsuit” – Daphney Joseph (Coko & Daphney)

4. “Shit Potato Medley Space Uber” – Didi Guenin, Sara Meleika (The Fresh Paint)

3. “Shit Anger Trebuchet Comet Makeup” – Kristine Shadid, Des Warmington (Crush Improv)

2. “Terra-form and Take Martian” – Nick Kanellis – (The Magnet Theater Touring Company)

1. “Rocks, Freeze, Babes” – Isaac Kessler (2-Man No-Show)

Honorable Mentions

Tuong

  • Get a stick and draw “HELP I’M DYING YOU NASA MOTHER FUCKERS” in the sand hope one of their satellites read it
  • From the ships wreckage, put yourself inside where you would normally put a torpedo and launch yourself into outer space and hope for the best
  • Swear off chocolate for life (ie Mars Bars)

Angus

  • Scrap parts from the Curiousity (or the Opportunity) Rover and make a space ship like Matt Damon would
  • Dig until you find long dead alien technology and either terraform Mars with it or build a space ship
  • Make mars so appealing that everyone wants to come there and when they do, steal a ship and fly it back to earth (Aka “Fyre Festivalling”)

Leslie

  • Find the Curiousity Rover, find the biggest hill, build a ramp at the bottom of it, and then Evil Knievil that shit
  • Eat a Mars Bar (Mental Escape)
  • Find a Martian, Seduce it, and when your about to fuck you go “no no no we need condom from Jupiter”. When your on your space ship on your way, and when the martian lets it’s guard down, shove a grenade down it’s throat and take the spaceship

Top 5 Ways to Help Sasquatch Become President

5. “Podium PR” – Melissa Britney, Hailey Robateau (A Little Awkward)

4. “Dress up as Bernie Sanders” – DJ Mausner (Crybabies)

3. “Court That Mountain Vote” – Jonas McLean (Outtake Improv)

2. “Build that Brand” –  Ken Hall (2-Man No-Show)

1. “We Bought a Zoo” – Brian de la Bruere, Aaron Paulsen (Shrek, Whenever You’re Ready)

Honorable Mentions

Tuong

  • Dip Sasquatch in Cheetos Dust and put a MAGA hat on him
  • Part of Sasquatch’s Campaign Promises is to let you hang out in the secret club with all the other cryptids
  • Make a biopic of Sasquatch played by method actor Christian Bale and Lady Sasquatch Amy Adams and win an Oscar. After you will appear on late night TV and SNL and get that Hollywood Vote and influence their audience to vote Sasquatch 2020

Angus

  • Have a slogan ready like “Think of the Possibilities” because if Saquatch is real what else is?…or like do a Smear campaign against the other crpytids
  • Election by Combat
  • Have Sasquatch host a shitty reality TV show where he makes decisions not based on logic, paint him orange, and make him say some pretty reprehensible shit and have him not own up to it

Leslie

  • Set up a meeting with Obama and steal his brain juice
  • Crash the Democratic Convention and whip chili dogs into the crowd but like in a chili dog gun
  • Become VP and then get the president to meet you next to an electric fence and then push him in by accident and become the president

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

PodCavern © 2017