93 – Top 5 Celebrity Facial Hair

September 9, 2020

If you really ‘mustache’, yes this episode is all about facial hair.

Facial hair has always had the qualities of completely transforming a person. When used correctly, celebrities can often shift their entire look for different roles and situations to be from good looking to DAMN good looking, leaving the rest of us patchy, uneven, peach fuzzed ‘stached shlubs to shame.  Join Tuong and Facial Hair Gawkers Justin Godelie, Shannon Godelie, and Laura Gordon as they romanticize the hairiness of famous people and  rank Top 5 Celebrity Facial Hair.

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Ground Rules

  • Facial hair to us means from “ears down”
  • This list is not “who is the most good looking celebrity”
  • Celebrities include anyone who is “famous” to the public eye ie Movie stars, Musicians, Athletes, etc.
  • Celebrities who can grow a wide variety of facial hair is a fair argument but this does not necessarily give more weight against those who grow a really “iconic” look
  • Facial hair has to be naturally grown and not a wig
  • We are ranking the real person’s facial hair and not a fictional character
  • Having an iconic look based on facial hair is a plus

*Spoilers* Below is our Top 5 list from this episode as well as our own personal unordered  lists.

Group Top 5

5. Idris Elba

4. Donald Glover

3. Freddie Mercury

2. Jonathan Van Ness

1.Nick Offerman

Tuong’s List

  • Chris Evans
  • Donald Glover
  • Leonardo DiCaprio
  • ZZ Top
  • Fu Man Chu
  • Brad Pitt
  • Jason Momoa
  • Chris Hemsworth
  • Zac Effron
  • Henry Cavill
  • Christian Bale
  • George Clooney
  • Keanu Reeves
  • Daniel Day Kim
  • Jackie Chan

Captain America's beard: the legacy of Steve Rogers's scruff, explained - Vox  (Chris Evans)

(Jackie Chan)

Justin’s List

  • Viggo Mortensen
  • Nick Offerman
  • Sam Beam
  • Sam Elliott
  • Henry Cavill
  • Milo Ventimiglia
  • Brad Pitt
  • Jon Hamm
  • Joaquin Phoenix
  • Joe Thornton
  • Ben Affleck

(Sam Beam)

(Viggo Mortensen)

Shannon’s List

  • Freddie Mercury
  • Steve Carell
  • Robin Williams
  • Sam Elliott
  • Tom Selleck
  • Hitler
  • Charlie Chaplin
  • Jason Momoa
  • Oscar Isaac
  • Dave Grohl
  • Sean Burns
  • Paul Rudd
  • Johnny Depp
  • Sir Ian McKellen
  • Zach Galifianakis

(Freddie Mercury)

Tom Selleck - Age, Movies & Wife - Biography (Tom Selleck)

Laura’s List (and awards she invented to give to the celebrities)

  • Jonathan Van Ness
  • Idris Elba
  • Jake Gyllenhaal

Best Neck Hair Without Being Gross: Hugh Jackman

Best Light Stubble: John Legend

Best Period Stache: Will Ferrell (in Anchorman)

Best Villain Stache: Alan Rickman (Hans Gruber in Die Hard)

Best Villain Stache Whose NOT a Villain: Jean Dujardin

Biggest Eyeroll: Seneca Crane (in the Hunger Games) (also does not count because it’s a fictioanl character)

Best Pretty Boy Scruff – Zac Effron

Best Touch of Grey : Chris Pine

Best Ginge: Prince Harry

Straightest Lines: Lebron James

Messy Beard I’m Least Mad About: Donald Glover

America’s Ass’s Beard: Chris Evans

Most Ron Swanson: Nick Offerman

Best Honestly Anything: Chris Hemsworth

Most Beard: RubeusHagrid (Harry Potter..also Fictional)

 

(Jonathan Van Ness)

(Donald Glover)

 

 

 

 

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